jk rowling unilaterally writing that not a single member of slytherin house fought in the battle of hogwarts and instead every single one of them hid like cowards is honestly one of the laziest most flaccid writing decisions of our time
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing
at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it
when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?
all boobs are good boobs
all stomachs are good stomachs
all thighs are good thighs
all bodies are good bodies
yes yours, too, and don’t you forget it